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LMDF: Finally, Cris! Lies and fabrications

Yesterday was the big day. For those of malignant dissatisfied, blind and cowardly to say that Cristiano Ronaldo never distinguished himself in a big game, and will have to call for silence and look for other arguments. Because CR7 left his mark forever on the classic yesterday (ie "derby" is frustrated Colombian journalist (?)) By this move, which will be remembered forever in history

¡¡¡¡¡¡ Biennnnnnn, papáaaaaa much varónnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!!!

PD 1: at this point who wants to continue discussing Messi should be fewer arguments that the attorney Dav * d M * G * Zman RCIA.

PD 2: Real Madrid, Florentino its policy to build a team at the point of hiring stars, the vulgar lampoon of M * RCA, General Franco and the English oligarchy (?): All At the moment, are feeling a sharp pain in her rectal tract.

PD 3: English These are too harsh (?):

PD 4: I would like to see Cristiano Ronaldo in the National (?) Pushing a classical Panzer : not finished out of hand when her face is distorted by a DT manotón the IMD, which will be very rough to handle, but very able to take advantage of them to slap a hot time in the face manotón alzaditos as it.

PD 5: to me give me a Xavi, Iniesta on my team and I won everything, even if Ibarbo forward to Victor Arboleda and Justin . No lies, no (?). But with the two above and below Serna Camel I make up a Jihad ...

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: recorderis short of some of world football metemonos

Lies and fiascos are all sides. Somewhere where I worked was a Brazilian to dictate a course for the use of software. We all liked the kind, cool and very very good football fan (fan of Atletico Mineiro), and for the third day of the course we had put together a Great Big Match in the Brazilian (not say his name, just mention that is called Dionysius (?)) not only was the special guest but was in the middle of a tug of war between the two teams to play with some of them. The day came, the court of the village where we worked was packed with fans, fanatics and Indian toothless (?), All hoping to see the Brazilian I was going to waste magic on the court. Finally the side in which Dionysus was to play was decided by a rigged lottery, the guy came to the court making little games and the truth that the pint of distilled samba type (?) And airs of crack: skinny longilinear, emaciated, long hair tied in ponytail, a smile of someone used to the flashes and excessive worship. The game started with the kick in midfield, Dionisio received the ball, stepped on and fell. Bue, an accident. At the sound rose and asked, they threw a pass and kicked him with a roll of wet cardboard. Aha. The minute he received the ball, dominated and got a pass to the contrary. Jmm. After 5 minutes I had eaten 2 goals. Mmmh. After 10 minutes we were all shit of laughter, especially those of the opposing team of Dionysus. He finished the game and came the beer, in which all nodded their diplomatic cordiality (?) Explanations of Dionysius that neither the court nor guayos helped him. A fiasco.

I was reminded of this now we make, in conjunction with the Staff of the Politburo LMDF, this post when we recall a number of lies in world football. Those players who are products of the invention of the press / swollen / Playstation. Because we agree that there are lies of various kinds, pious wave ("You have not increased weight, my love, is the mirror that distorts the image), or pure style story ("What I want to happen tonight is what you want to go" (?)). Just as in life, in the football. We know that is microscopically short list, but if there is complete open a new blog. Get a life (?).

Andoni Zubizarreta

fixed place in the English national team for nearly 15 years: it was easier for King Juan Carlos to abdicate the throne to unseat Zubizarreta. Something incomprehensible, considering that was one of those archers balls drew no goal, I put no fear of the rival parties had not inspired, but the combination of making a presence few droppings + + be one of the two big clubs + be big (?) generated for the fans and technicians English such confidence that you never knew if Urruti, Cañizares, Ochotorena or until the death of Paco Buyo had done the best in the world 4 and 3 European Championships where the afizión (?) exultant shouting " Damn, but that Zubi is a titan in goal, no goal or gets us Napoleon's army !!!!".

Luis Fernando "El Chonto "Herrera

A symbol of the Colombian defense in the first years of Maturana. As a side shot to fame thanks to the famous match at Wembley in 1988 (yes, the goal of Andrés Escobar great ) which is almost swallowed by himself to the tremendous John Barnes, who saw her that day or in repetition. But thanks to that party the Chonto lived long for fame, being a fixed the band of choice but when tea functioned as an axis of meaninglessness, running like crazy, living a thousand (?) party, sending centers the main counter or the goalkeeper, Banquo at Wilson Perez and located so that the team could put together comfortably against their attacking moves. I kill many with this revisionist history that we raised, but is a big lie Chonto.

Claudio Suarez

you ever reviewed by here: the fact is that a proper defense, well located and leader, which in any case not reached the third concentric circle callus of the right foot of a Paolo Maldini , can say he played in the shirt of your choice 178 sometimes gives to conclude that the best you can be in life is to be a footballer. Sure, playing against United States, Canada, San Vicente, Guatemala and Barbados 10 times each sum you a lot for the statistic.

Juan Pablo Sorin

When you're fast, correlón, intense, the kind that is pulled on board to throw the ball when it is off the pitch, you have a large marketing base to sell to the fans smoke. Now, if one is also hairy, crazy (?) And play-back, the people crowd around to buy the story. That happened to Juan Pablo Sorin, thanks to this way of doing so with the Red Bull was one of the favorite people, although not marked or the girlfriend. But that does not matter to people: Sorin was the player of the people (?), Substance, passion, strength and few practical results.

Juan Sebastian Veron

" Ex-tra-ordinariooo Veron " delights in every game Niembraaaa to witness the nth pass alongside Juan Sebastian. Because Veron, once a great player, now is content to be administered as 30% of fitness is left of time better, leading him to walk the course, change even when in front of his land and has no rivals and lateralization ad nauseum. To him who is not a fan of Students or Argentina invades the despair when he sees JSV mess with a pass to the partner effect is only, side, unmarked, and less than 3 feet away. What it does do a lot of energy is bitching 90 minutes and tickets to colleagues in public. But even so it reaches a " Ex-tra-ordinariooo " Veron to be convened to select Argentina, even in the last World Cup where his game was so useless that even the stubborn inconsistent Maradona sent him to the bench. If it is to walk the field and send the shit to my friends, that's what I call me ...

Cristiano Ronaldo

Ah, it slipped us ... proceed. Sorry for the unintended (cofcofcof) error.

Ivan Kaviedes

put his 43 goals in his first season with Emelec , an animal if we do not pause to think that put them in Ecuador (?). This feat catapulted him to fame that brought him to play on 13 teams of Spain, Italy, England, Portugal and Mexico , all with sad results that an abandoned house. A forward lean, skinny, slow, no header or power had to have something to justify his fame. Kaviedes no (?). But it was always summoned to the Ecuadorian, where at least had the honor of making the goal against Uruguay to qualify their country for the World Cup 2002 ...

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the Copa America is coming

Let me begin with a discussion, listen carefully: Today there is almost international football tournaments in which there has followed a course pointing partially or completely to hell. Because thanks to that $ a $ unguents that are present in all areas of daily life, the organization of any competition is governed more by the desires of the 543 multinationals involved in the sport for the fans. Fortunately, we still have the Copa America, the good old competition that has prevented permeated with ... ah, how well: Japan will play ? Damn (?). Back to square one:

The motherfuckers even today our dear old America's Cup is safe from harmful influences of commercialism : now (as in 1999) Japan will participate (!!!!!), country whose only link with South America it is football broadcasts on TV noventuda Tsubasa. CONMEBOL But it does not matter: all that matters to them is full of money, and the way end the little problem created by Santander, Paez, Flowers, O'Higgins and Artigas, were not able to form a number of countries that were divisible by 4. Note that if included in Suriname and Guyana be talking about 12 teams, but better leave aside the thorny issue (?). For now mention that today was held in Mar de Plata the group draw for the Copa America 2011, which certainly made it more remarkable was the scientific confirmation of the immortality that being the leader of the CONMEBOL: I have 30 years watching Julio Grondona, Nicolas Leoz and Eduardo Deluca old-looking about to die.

The other minor issues to highlight are as follows:

The tournament will be played in Argentina in July 2011.

Venues: As the tournament is in Argentina, it is normal that the locations are cities within that country. Normally goes well, eh?. Buenos Aires will host the final. In the central region of the country will Cordoba and Santa Fe , the latter also home to numerous floods, suffers more overflows the sides of the defense of the SID. In the region called Cuyo (about Chile ) we have to Mendoza and San Juan . And representing the northern region will have to Salta and Jujuy , the latter city in which the border between Argentina and Bolivia tends to become very diffuse, and that absent the proverbial beauty Argentina women's (?).

Competition System: The 12 teams (10 of CONMEBOL, more Japan and Mexico) will be divided into 3 groups of 4. From there classified the 2 best from each, plus 2 Third with best score. Gone are the days of two groups of 5 where the final round were only the first 2, now just be less bad than one of their own group to go round .. We would say that less bad than the Conmebol not been given round of the tournament to 16 teams invited to USA, Jamaica, China and South Korea , but best not to give ideas (?)

Groups : Let's see how were the groups, with the bonus of an exclusive analysis from our experts on the subject:

Group A: Argentina, Colombia, Japan and Bolivia.

was known-more-than-local known that he played the famous "Group Los Muertos." Now, when that group is Colombia, and it is that we are the host country, we make them realize that it is time to reflect on our true position in the football world map (?). A touch us relatively easy: Bolivia outside La Paz, a Japan outside the continent, a Argentina with Checho Batista. I'd say we easy, but it happens that the Bun.

Forecast: pass Argentina and Colombia. Japan the 3rd.

"SSM, such as Amaranth paste a lot, but come on, do not worry I speak with her father" (?)

Group B: Brazil, Paraguay, Ecuador and Venezuela

The poor Venezuela has always played the role of the canteen of the tournament: now (?) will play the local, now it's up Brazil. O Brazil local touches: worse. Sure, the dam has always been easy, secure 3 points, the team to thrashing for weighing goal differential. This time I hit a jodidísimo group, with a post- Dunga Brazil, seeking to recover the jogo bonito, the rocky Paraguay, with more talent than that suggests your system, and Ecuador that ... eh, well, it Ecuador, so the group is so fucked.

LMDF Forecast: Brazil and Paraguay first pass, Venezuela give the blow. A Reynaldo Rueda him out of the Ecuadorian, leave football and go to Palmyra to open a restaurant in the Pan. Ecuador's new coach Jorge Luis Pinto is , which begins its management prohibiting the use of music in the concentrations of the Ecuadorian.

Group C: Uruguay, Chile, Mexico and Peru.

the unknown group: Uruguay with Master Tabarez is rated insurance (which plays well is another story (?)). The other 3 came into the tournament looking to catch as their new coaches: young but capable elmuy Chepo La Torre in Mexico , Sergio Markarian in Peru and Chile aúnnosesabequién in . Because as we all know, the coach of the Red in the last World Cup, Marcelo Bielsa , said: "I will not continue in office if re-elected to Harold Mayne-Nicholls the front of the Chilean Football Federation" (* See Note below) . So quite possibly the Chilean bank is occupied by a DT like the new president of the Federation (the taste of = to let him do business without pounding her life), to position the Chilean soccer times Juvenal Olmos .

(* Note) Before further clarified that in fact what was said Bielsa: "I must note that in the current situation that is unfolding my position as the head of the coaching staff, which includes coordination of technical-tactical soccer selection of football players representing the Chilean Federation of the sport, among which is wrongly called Chilean soccer selection, or Red, referring to the predominant color in the shirt you normally use in their sports commitments that institution, I must desist from continuing at the time of contract that I linked to in the above figure, if the body to which I am as a direct employee choose a different rector president takes his place today " . But we shorten up to a better understanding (?????). all

LMDF Forecast: We took a gamble for a big surprise: direct pass Paraguay and Peru. Uruguay ranks as one of the two best third, with 2 points. Reach the final. The Peruvian football exhibit a high, but in the quarterfinals fall on us suddenly. Then he discovers that a great harvest stuck in your hotel orgiastic celebrating the classification to the second round, which moved to the Peruvian public, from Jaime Bayly to and Laura Bozzo Magaly. The latter organized a show confronting Paolo de La Haza, Juan Manuel Vargas and Claudio Pizarro against Chemo del Solar, which when you enter the set, shouting Laura ( "Come in this desgraciaooo" ) is bundled to death (?) with the above. Quite a spectacle.

This husband-faced old man crushed know enough to lift the Peruvian soccer. Eye with him.

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2011 Brief: football is not what it was (?)

When some exalted us on the street (?) To say something like "old Blablabla gaga, stop screwing around with this walk that football now is another thing, if now all papáaaa better and blablabla ", we actually meant that we are old GAGAS, they fucking walk a lot with that now that football is something else that actually everything is better now. I mean, one who is wise understands the indirect messages. So to see if it is true, we zapping on the news of the week and found that ...

1) Cristiano Ronaldo now rages (?)

invention seems taken from a blog of unemployed, unlike the latter, the galactic star, the Big Bang of Madrid, La Perla del Jet Set Madrid The Quasar of Madeira, the aspiring double act Twilight Vampire, King of the baubles by the band. Yes, "" No resssss: Cristianaaaa Ronaldaaaa (so-Mari * no Closs-off) wanted to give a joy to this world affected by the victory of the Republicans in the U.S., took a guayos with a leopard print .

According to the news (or press release, I know) the guayos "CR Mercurial Vapor SuperFly II (" Huh?) offer the innovative Adaptive traction Nike Sense, in which designers created a smart block that can extend and retract to 3mm, depending on ground conditions and the pressure exerted by the player. " Excellent, I buy now, those 3 mm of withdrawal are the that I needed to me to release this devilish dribble I could never bring forth. Follow

Ceerresietista ecstasy, this time from his own pen: "The guayos CR SuperFly Mercurial Vapor II speak for themselves in the field (???) while stamping Safari expresses my style, "said Cristiano Ronaldo .". Cris (?): Your style is rather well but bueh. statement follows: "In a new reference to the speed, the striking pattern of guava Safari overlaps with a design "chevron" tone that glows when exposed to certain light. Designed to look like a flash in the player's peripheral vision, this chart reflecting increases the visibility of the player on the pitch. ".

In reading this last sentence can not help but feel happy to know that" Cristiano Ronaldo CR debut with the Mercurial Vapor guayos SuperFly II in the field on 7 November, during the "Derby", which presents the best football teams in Madrid. " Assuming that the" the best teams in Madrid " is including Atlético (may be), we anxiously wait our great Amaranth advantage of the increased visibility of Mercurial Vapor Supernosequemierda easier to locate CR7, aim a little above the flash memory and will stop plugs embedded in the ankle. Masthead

• 1: If it was to be leopard prints, Christian did not need to Nike had gone to a clothing store in the market in Cartagena and I Bazurto was cheaper and even more leopardesco. Masthead
• 2: For when a manufacturer will bring the BA Creole Donkey SuperEagle II Vapor with donkey hoof Belmar Aguilar? Or the Louse PA Splash Pool I for Acuña louse? Batteries there with the invention.
  

"I am beautiful, wicked and cool, like Lucifer" (?)

2) Paul is not dead

soulless Germans they did not Not a week mourned the death of Paul, the octopus who managed the miracle of making Spain remain world champion (which Vicente del Bosque, or Iniesta, Xavi or , or what the hell: this octopus (?)), was the real architect and found him and successor, Paul II is now the role played by of cephalopod-oracle predictor Oberhausen Aquarium, traditional work being played 200 years and several generations of octopus venerable European generations.

With more than expected opening umbrellas, Aquarium spokesman and spokesman Quiromantischen-pulp Deustch Bund stated that " is still not decided if Paul II will (...) forecasts parties first need to see if you have the same prophetic qualities than its predecessor. " For that will have 2 years until Euro 2012 starts, to start pulling the octopus magic, or throwing shit, or both combined, is not known yet.

The only certainty is that the scene-palmist ictiológica mourns the loss octopod to be the highest number of hits in the history of the world. For now, a rumor is going strong in Oberhausen on the death of the original Paul is said that a man bald, glasses, and accent card Colombian journalist was being asked to octopus "What tactical and strategic system dominate the Colombian championship final, it is proudly sponsored by national and Postobón company which has the honor to be mentioned on TV for me: a) strong European influence individual marking prioritizing the meaning given defensive tackle from the ball in midfield, or b) the rigor of talent subject to an open scheme 3-2-1-2-2 rampant with two points coming together in the ridges of the offensive scheme? ", what caused the poor octopus ipso facto be diluted in a thick sea of \u200b\u200bink, made to empty the son of a bitch Man, that was not

ago ... If I see? Football is not what it was!

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