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The highly anticipated and never equaled LMDF forecasts for 2011: an eye that by 2012 all goes to hell (?)

say negociazo become a soothsayer. It may be true: you go to the center of Medellin to make some turns and every 100 meters you find a guy who gives you a piece of paper, using a synchronous movement while giving you that you already have one on hand for the next pedestrian . Then read the slip "Problems at work? A love unrequited? Health Problems? Free Consultation, Professor John Wilder treats without compromise ". If I had real powers as a man of such develop a spell to make me filthy rich and opulent breakfast every day and pancakes with strawberry syrup and served on the breasts two Swedish waitresses instead of renting a basement pissed to meet people without hope, I say. But will that I have no vocation witch (?). Rather stop rambling and go at once to the expected, advertised, desired LMDF Forecasts for 2011 , which have already demonstrated such a high level of efficiency that we are not surprised that we are talking about in 200 years

Stamina Regina (?)

DI M

The Mighty Antioquia starts the year with many concerns, the absence of reinforcements, the dismantling of the team, and especially those who haunt the living (?) of Panzer Carvajal. The fans are discouraged and looks rather little for this year, especially when it is announced reinforcements for the tournament: all ex-players in the red, most notably Jorge Horacio Serna in his 5th return to the club. Surprisingly, to achieve the flawless campaign in the Apertura tournament winning end to end with a record of 15 wins - 9 tie - 1 loss - 12 goals scored - 2 against, with Samuel Vanegas as a scorer with 5 goals. The Panzer imposed its stamp strategic-bilardístico-antiofensivo so faithfully to the team that the fans, which in itself was not characterized by massive cram the stadium box office (?), Finished the stage fright away. The Panzer shout themselves hoarse in the media, and trapping sweat spitting into the microphone, so fans of DIM were ungrateful, grateful that he does not - I quote - "... c on this herd of hijue piiiii are not able to lift the ball piiiiii champions took them out, these people if it is an ungrateful home, shh, shh (?) , how well home, starting PIII hijue " and immediately declared National swells. The Panzer is licensed, and the silver mounts a winding-food restaurant in the Medellin - Bogota.

Once Caldas

Completion The new champion of 2010 ratifies the controversial charge Juan Carlos Osorio, happened in a couple of months of being "as stubborn sonofabitch what " to "what man as strategic ." Surprisingly out of Dayro Moreno and Fernando Uribe, who is going to start a great season in Godoy Cruz in Argentina, to revive the evicted José Moreno repatriate and Milton Rodriguez with the argument that " interpret them better technical and tactical module I intend to Eleven. " The team plays a European, indeed, but not "European- " = " Barcelona " but "the European " = " Kilmarnock " (?). Laboriously go to second round of the Libertadores, where they are removed from Huanuco Lion penalties. Osorio declared after the directive did not give him the confidence or time to work. National hired him to replace his recently discharged DT.

National

The Sachi Escobar started with the batteries installed, and by a strong physical and tactical work accomplishes the miracle of having that amount of loose play shit and mercenaries as a football team (?). In the 15 date the club has already qualified to the next round playing very showy, but the team suffers pressure from the fans, who forgives him his past Sachi on the SID. After several awkward moments, of which you can count the arson at the house of Saci, he decides to give up and send to hell all: it is presented (and chosen) to replace Carlos Calero "Tough against the World ". The technical management team in the crucial clash knockout stages of the opening to the DIM , assumes Arlen Pavón, a known green blogger and journalist, highly respected by the payroll and managers. Unfortunately, the crucial game day (the trip had been 0-0) to Arlen Pavón the bike was stranded on the Avenida 80 and could not reach the stage (!!!!). Confused, the team lost 1-0 on goal by Jair Iglesias . Postobón decide the club put him hand-and time-ooootra steals Juan Carlos Osorio , leading the team to a creditable third in the Copa Colombia . Postobón tired of the club put him hand and removed from the team, which is purchased by Kola Román .

America

The terrifying Cali 2010 requires the club to think about what whores do to not go to the decline. The pattern Bermúdez meantime proselytize in his ESPN program to return to the team, with phrases like "You you can not treat a club of the greatness of America as a small team of neighborhood, what you have to do is to rebuild the club and put me as head of the administrative and sport. " Mass fans shudder. Despair rife when the computer is placed in direct descent to the 8th day. Patron continuing its campaign and it seems that it will support policy. The fans will want to kill every last. When it appears that Empower (?) Club by the Pattern is a fact consummated in a couple of days, Boca Juniors overtakes him in a daring maneuver and takes it as a sports manager in a 10-year golden parachute. The fans celebrated, but then realize they are in decline, and travelers are asking for a complete change in the club. Walks achieved as a result the mayor of Cali prohibited by congesting the city.

Millonarios

ambassador to the policy of the club want to stop seeing the decline as a future possibility and assemble a strategy that in 6 months to fully achieve its objective: the decline becomes a cold reality (?). While mounted an intense lobbying for changing the rule of descent on the average, using radio and TV advertisements, promotional brochures, joint-ventures with well-known evangelical churches in the capital and an intensive bombardment by Caracol TV. In October, Dimayor announced unexpectedly that reconsiders the decision of the decrease on average to return to traditional low-the-worst-of-year. The club and the fans cheering the news held a monumental concert in the Media Torta (?) That lasts 3 days and leaves 7 injured players of the institution. In the month and a half is missing, the team loses the advantage of 14 points that led to last year and down in a dramatic game against Itagüí on the last day. Commandos Azules announce that he will continue to Millito force in B, but while be passed (?) the subsidiary, the River Plate . But it happens to fall in 2012, so I do not know ...

Santa Fe

The fans are tired after so many years of frustration. The institution, seized the same sentiment, decided not to invest a weight on the payroll in 2011: total, if they are going to screw up, that is with the house. So the Santa Fe facing the tournament with pure stripping subsidiary. The boys achieve an unexpectedly sweeping campaign full of good football and goals, attracting new fans to the stadium. In the opening semifinal win 2-1 in Neiva. In the game get back in (for the first time this year) filled El Campin, full of fans that are filmed in the notices entering the stadium with chibchuzelas (?) and shouting " Shantafeshito Vamosh! " but pressure killed the boys, who lost 2-1 and then 4-1 on penalties. For the next tournament, pelaos learn from the professionals: they are going to party, missing workouts, not put the duckling and conspire against the coach. The club finished last and Juan Manuel Santos it intervenes.

Junior

The team is eliminated in the semifinals of the Apertura championship under the command Héctor Oscar DT Quintabani. A Quintabani the pitch and temporarily assume the Cayman Sánchez.

Colombians Abroad

• No doubt the revelation of 2011 will be the performance of Felipe Pardo , former striker SID in a surprise transfer goes to Juventus by deferred via DIM - Cañeros of Nezahuatlcoyotl - Neuchatel Xamax. The Italian club, the popular Pipe Pardo became the idol of the tifosi, being the top scorer with 38 goals (!!!!!) calcium, which leads him to be nationalized ipso facto by the Italian Federation. Pippa (?) Debut against Faeroe Islands in Torshavn macabre in a performance that included eating 3 goals under the arch. But it is claimed with 5 goals in games against Slovenia and Serbia. Pardo says exultant at the microphones of RAI: \u200b\u200b" Grazie Dio, che gave us things, is a actuazione molto questa important for the squadra, il reflecting laburo a week. Oh, the pirobi tutti, gonorrei, malparidi I whistled and carezzimba molto il forte in Athanasius, tutti molto have it in, Colombian di merda " (?). Giovanni Moreno
• confirms Closing on a good ride awesome Apertura 2010, leading him to be transferred to Manchester United . Sir Alex Ferguson watches him jogging at practice, thinking, chewing gum other, and decided to intensify the physical work: You have to learn to run. Giovanni paste the first bounce of his life (?), And 20 meters will start ligaments. During his convalescence he becomes addicted to the English malt beer.
  
• The 2011 look like Cristiano Ronaldo silences his critics with an impressive improvement in performance in games against Barcelona and the Final Real in the Champions League. Newspapers sports and celebrity magazines exploit orgasmically jubilant English until he discovers the farce James Rodriguez had been contracted to Real Madrid twice as likely as Cristiano Ronaldo . The scandal was all when he discovered the plot: Portuguese is limited to go to party in Ibiza, model clothes from Nike, and eventually play against Getafe, Almería Levante and I left the poor James task to fight it hard against real teams. Cristiano wept before the cameras and was forgiven (?). James Rodriguez was deported and sent as a punishment reinforcement for Emelec .
  

Other countries

• In Argentina be decided in early 2011 to become long tournament from July (the former opening 2011), crowning a champion only after June 2012. Gimnasia y Esgrima de La Plata is first in the first half 2011-2012 (????????). Martin Palermo extended his contract with Boca Juniors for 1 year after a half with 4 goals in the tournament.
  
• Barcelona continues with its overwhelming dominance in the English league, winning it without sweating with 12 points ahead of Real Madrid , which is 2nd with 38 points on the 3rd, Villarreal . Mourinho is cast and instead hire Donald Trump (?). Inter
• Calcium is crowned champion in an epic comeback and football rarely seen in the peninsula, under the command of Brazilian Leonardo . At 2 months he removed the title of bribery checked. Samuel Eto'o resignation of team against him alleging racist treatment, and two days later emigrated to German football. Venezuela
• In the championship was operated by President Chávez which crowned champion by decree a new team , Revolutionary Aragua.
  

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LMDF Open Letter to the Popes of the World Cup: No more Cups shit, please

(As our thoughts, our souls and our hearts (?) Are somewhat forbidding the faithful band of followers 3 Soccer's gibberish, we publish here a letter to the Politburo LMDF fully signed and sent to Sepp Blatter, Michel Platini, Nicolas Leoz and another man there (?) a few days ago. We never got answer, so show it here to see if any revolutionary soul makes to reach any of those mentioned by whatever means they deem appropriate to fulfill that purpose. That neighborhood football again!).

******************************************** *************************

Medellín, Colombia, December 12, 2010.

Gentlemen
Albeiro Josep Blatter
Eugenio Michel Platini Nicolas
$ Leo $
Ramon Jesurum
ESD

Dear Sirs (?)

begin this letter felt personally remember the time when I was a naive child and lover of football, distant years in which 96.21% of Colombian bloggers were just a candle in Heaven waiting their turn to be fired (?). In those days I remember the desire and the strength that made all year waiting for:

• The Libertadores between February and June of each year.
• The World mid-year, when he played.
• Copa America, ibid.
• The Intercontinental in December.
• And the Colombian Football final in December as well.
  

Clarified that the naivete of my pre-pubescent years I yearned, in endless sleepless nights, see the DIM disputing the intercontinental framed by the discordant sound of the cicadas of football in Tokyo, or at least kicking cursing at the premises in Centennial, Monumental or Morumbi. But the point is that in those years were few but prestigious vying Cups, all with that aura of class that gave being a disputed among the best of the best side against the other. To know that a club had to have definitely Spartacus, Maximus and Attila the Hun to classify - not to mention win - such a tournament. As if you only have the resources that God gave you raised to the good old woman across the university, that to which we all feel like it, and that in theory the man takes pintoso and silver (that is, in theory is not for one (?)).

Yes, I'm to the point, Sepp, Nico, Ramon and Michi (?) Patience. I mention this is because now I think I do not know, I think, or say, it is my opinion, I do not know if I'm mulling: many cups are now in the year lost all the grace . And that's why we take the assignment of writing to you who are like the Popes of world football, to ask us to explain, from the depths of her withered and bitter heart (?), things like this:

1. World Cup goes to Felicidonia

understand that we must open the World Cup to all countries, but could it be that they are having a poquto? Could it be that American football is so central and quality so that there is an opportunity to sort 4 teams from the CONCACAF World Cup ? So, we bring Mexico and the United States, will not be the Brazil of 70 (bueh, not even the 90) but I do fight to any selection, and what's left? Honduras, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago and Canada , in addition to (horror of horrors from the depths), Guatemala, Panama, Nicaragua or any of the 100 small islands in the Caribbean where the sport of choice its 3,000 inhabitants is the cricket and tomadera cane rum, creating your selected have for football ductility of the seam of the roe. Total: Selected Although much you will force the team of the Union of Porto Alegre looms.

What is in one of two things: either a) boring matches and duels closed where they put weaker in goal to own the bus that transports the hotel, or b) shows almost touching incident of ingenuity Third (?) as clumsy displays of Hondurans in the last world. Knowing you as I know, Sepp, I know you're thinking about the idea of \u200b\u200bexpanding to 36 or even 42 teams to the finals, anything to keep earning you the votes of the Football Association of Maldives , Malawi and the Philippines for reeligirte until you are an embalmed decorating your office for life in Zürich. I hope not, because if it is a shit watch the World Cup 2022 in Qatar , much more will be expected to start dueling group L with Brazil, Turkmenistan, Somalia and Venezuela.

2. The Copa Sudamericana is lying

recently saw on TV to an Argentine team beating a Brazilian club final on penalties. But that phrase, once applied to Vélez against Sao Paulo or against Palmeiras Boca refers to this time against Independent Goiás, in the final of the new defunct Cup Fox Sports Sudamericana. Recall that Independiente de Avellaneda is like Amparo Grisales : the low status that remains today is for what he did for many years (?). Se, the tournament that just ended last crowned him (!!), and is just 10 points behind the promotion, and 15 from direct reduction on the averages. And the front side of the thing was not very full nor hierarchy: the Goiás, which has never been champion of anything in Brazil, fell this year to B. In short: it was the final between dogs of Avellaneda against the dead walkers Goiania. And it was a final, by the grace of CONMEBOL, is "consolidation? at the point of marketing and propaganda channel breathed by the shit that this tournament which brings together fourth-clubs-are-not-so-good South America, and who knew ever win the International League of Quito and Boca , but equipuchos as Arsenal de Sarandi, Liga de Quito (?), Pachuca Cienciano of Cuzco.

The most pathetic of all was seeing on TV two teams with less quality than the Chinese car brand and under the clothes of a Sanandresito get a championship fight for cabotage, which served to hold their fans that year of shit did not matter, but to be South American champions, Dad.

3. We fucked the dear old Libertadores

Winning the Libertadores

formerly a fucking thing to earn the ballot: classified only the 2 best from each country (champion and runner-up, usually), which clustered in groups of 4 in passing to the semifinals only the group winner (ufff), hence in two groups of 3 (they joined the champion of the previous edition) of which only passed the first round , who went to the final with the winner of another group. Very bloody, and very selective. Sure, it was a system that made, for example, Venezuela and Minerva arrived Pepeganga while Argentina did not qualify Boca or San Lorenzo River or . But we agree, Nicholas, it is preferable that old system to see a tournament you play up to 6 clubs in the country, 5 of which will make a campaign of shit. Now sit back and watch the Libertadores in the first round generates as much excitement as watching the umpteenth repetition of Friends in Warner TV: see Aucas against Universidad de Sucre or Emelec against Coquimbo Unido leads one to think seriously consider the idea of \u200b\u200bMexican telenovelas as alternative entertainment.

4. "Campeóooon, campeóooon, there is only one champion ..."

What I have split the local tournament championships in two years? What grabs tournament seriously when just having a good run of 3 months, can say any team was national champion? a year = a champion, so does the Universe (?).

5. The Europa League: the tournament that crowns the top of the losers

Michel, do not play the queer who also you are: already Champions expand up to 4 teams per country (bueh, large) distorted the concept of " Champions" to a level of room. But worse was to end with the old glasses UEFA and Cup Winners Cup, that gave validity to the local tournaments Copa due importance to be second to create the Europe League, which classified (as in the South America) not-so-good of each country, and (cosssadelocos) who could not qualify for the next round of the Champions! In other words, give a prize that is in 3rd in a group of 4, while the first one that can be left with nothing in the Champions League. Thus, gain Europe League and boast of them is comparable to getting a regular old at a nightclub after blunders with 3 of the best, and talk shit the next day.

6. Postobón Cup: O Eternal long yawn ...

The idea of \u200b\u200bcreating a format Cup tournament in Colombia, including clubs in the Primera B is good in the background. But if the form is translated to form groups of 6 to an endless round of parties round, the tournament becomes a very long yawn, even sound. For the second game and the novelty is over. The third fall of the truism that politics placing club alternates to play the tournament to gain experience "is more for desehuesarse. In the 10 games and you never know which phase of the tournament is. At 30 grabs one by surprise news that is disputed final.

So, humbly, from our position as the most read blog football Vegachí Township between July and August 2010, we ask you to put as 2011 for this purpose and will start:

• Back to the World Cup format with 24 teams, yes, removing it from the best 3rd party.
• Send the Copa Sudamericana at the same place where they have stored the Super Cup, the Copa de Oro Nicolás Leoz and Merconorte.
• Back to the Copa Libertadores de 20 clubs, redistributing quotas so that there is a maximum of 3 per country (we all know which countries will (shall we?) With one (?)).
• One Year = One champion. Any other thought is fucking compulsive consumer non-traditional holiday celebrations.
  
• Raising the Cup Winners' Cup and making the Europa League in those preseason tournament to be played in Kuala Lumpur.
  
• Format (?) The Postobón Cup rounds of matches in first leg y vuelta.

Si no se cumplieren (?) éstos puntos, sepan ustedes que no dudaremos en montar un grupo de Facebook clamando por la inmediata destitución de los cargos que ostentan. ¡Todos saben el grandísimo y aterrador poder que tienen las iniciativas de personas desconocidas en Facebook!

Atentamente

El Politburó de LMDF

"Jefe, venga lo relaciono con éste pelao que tiene ganas de organizar un torneíto..."

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The World Qatar Russia 2018 and 2022 for Dummies

Como todos sabemos, hace unos días la FIFA, apelando a los criterios más fair and just to help make football beautiful and pure (..........................), decided to allocate the site of the World 2018 to 2022 Russia and Qatar, above ELGIUM B-Netherlands, England, Spain, Portugal and Japan , among other countries that aspire to host the tournament. Some would say that was a shit that allocation of the seats. Others will say (mostly women and aberrations that do not like football) is going to be very nice if the football world will expand to such exotic countries. The latter view we spent by the roes hairy, but still respect it (?). But to close the chapter and resign ourselves to the inevitability of fait accompli, we offer you in a LMDF Qatar Russia 2018 and 2022 for Dummies , in the case that the unlikely combination of the world does not end in 2012 + you will see soccer in 12 16. If it's this post, print and go to the Russian consulate and Qatar closer to home, and sell on the street for $ 1.500. We do not charge royalties.

Russia 2018: Все мафии

country

Overview: A large country that has endured czars crazy despotic and tyrannical patients, the invasions of two of the most horrific armies of history, communist dictators and capitalist worm that eats everything (?), and to top it has lost much of its territory in the last 20 years, but nevertheless remains a global giant, deserves and give him his World. No longer the USSR for mass entertainment, angry residents show (?) Of communist ideology, but still Russia, the Little Mother Russia, which is responsible for housing in more than 17 million square miles of the event by which men endure 4 years of hardship (?).

History

football: Russia as such has been playing more or less since 1994, always giving trouble. In the world of that year he lost to Sweden and Brazil , but was pleased to bring him Cameroon 6 goals and to promote a lie Oleg Salenko. In 1998 did not qualify. In 2002 he did, only to be eliminated in first round in the group Japan and Belgium. In 2006 and 2010 saw the World Cup since Casajstán (plop!). In the Euro was the only outstanding performance in 2008, with a great team with which nearly reach the final, but it happens that Spain.

Now, as USSR the story is different. That is, the titles are not crowded the windows of the Soviet Ministry of Sports, but at least the thing was more dignified: a 4th place in the 1966 World Cup, quarter-finals 3 times, a couple of times in the second round. And a European Championship, the first in history in 1960. Plus 3 more plays late. And glories of world football of all time, and (standing, starting worshipers Cristiano Ronaldo) L ev Yashin, Oleg Blokhin, Vladimir Bessonov, Rinat Dasaev, Ramaz Shengelia . Some animals, say that their selected were made up of agnostics disappointed that lie called Marxism-Leninism (?), But earned up Cafam Cup.

One of the most glorious shirts football history

World Headquarters: Apparently the following cities are confirmed as 2018 World Cup venues: Ekaterinburg (see, where they killed the Czar Nicholas and his family), K aliningrado, Kazan, Krasnodar, Moscow, Nizhny Novgorod, Rostov on Don, (of what?) St. Petersburg, Samara, Sochi, Volgograd and Yaroslavl. We missed quite not placed in locations to Minsk, Kiev and Tbilisi , but then we remembered that as the USSR was over, as was explained to us that point.

Why should host the World Cup:

• Because it is a country rich in football history.
  
• Because you have an awesome economic power.
  
• Because it deserves the World Cup.
• Because it has to do.
  
• On seeing the Russian.
• But above all, to see the Argentine bars (those of Argentina and Colombia team, who believe themselves born on the banks of the River Plate, when in fact they were born next to the Tunjuelito) trying to get bravitos the Russian bars, which are not no queer. Especially I would like to see the hooligan mariconcitos Colombians who brag about going to robársele a rag to a swollen rival, going to bars to Russian bullying, that what is going to steal an arm, a head and a swollen liver rival . Let's see if they are as men. Please believe me, watch the video.
  

hilarious (?).

Why you should not host the World Cup:

• Because they have more mobsters per capita than a cattle fair in Caucasia.
  
• addition, because it is one in the Trans-Siberian Railway to Depropetrovsk to see the team training led by Leonel Colombia, before the game against Kosovo, and it's up and not sleep kill to travel to Yekaterinburg to see the match, only to find that by the time zone the game was played yesterday, while you were viewing the selection in the training (?).

Tips for visitors to Russia World Cup 2018:

• walk is not recommended for easy lifting in a cafe bar in Nizhny-Novgorod, as you walk huge female eyeing the beloved can be a big boss of local clan of the Chechen mafia. Thus, it is possible that you end up seeing the world from the comfort of fund a Volga estuary.
• is also advisable to stay out of any guest, we know that happens in Eastern European hostels (?). I spare to go to Dann Carlton Volgograd, whether they touch me mortgage the house, but I'm not going to a hostel or crazy.
  
• Vodka is not like the Medellin Añejo Ron Viejo de Caldas or: the 3 drinks and your body is thinking in bed while your mind thinks of the vagina (?). At 10 drinks your body and your mind thinks and does not either.
  

Translation: "The largest country, away!" (?)

Qatar 2022: Fuck

Overview

country Oil for some countries is like football for some players, because he had gotten out of the mud. Because Qatar is a small piece of land from which oil springs and other springs sites silica (?), Thanks to which standards have lives that are among the highest in the world. That is, a guy like Julio Mario Santod * mingo there if you reach hard to assemble a fleet of buses with the route Al Ghuwariyah - Al Jumaliyah. The country has a bit more area that the Colombian department of Sucre, with a little more than 1 million-plus inhabitants. Very few to receive so much money.

football history: Ah, football in Qatar. Equipment is really good, like Al and Al Shabatiya Kuwurazmi, powers of the gulf. No, lies, I'll quit this pod (?). Qatar football has become the graveyard of the superstars who want to play sucking cock and making millions.

receiving T-Juninho Al-hand nosequé Café Tacuba singer (???)

World Headquarters: According to our consultant Cyril cities Lusail, Al Khor, Ash-Shamal, Al Wakrah, Umm Salal, Al Rayyan, Doha have the honor of being World Cup venues. Now, we invite readers to write LMDF Qataris of giving us more information about these cities.

Doha Coliseum, the stadium at Atanasiah (?)

Why should host the World Cup:

• Because they have money to come up shit in it, so can do a show impressive. Logistics, obviously, and what happens on the field relates to the purity of the athletes who practice this sport (whore, as madness today.)

Why you should not host the World Cup:

• Because they have money to come up shit in it, so they will do a show that will surely overshadow the game.
• Because there is no football.
  
• Because we see the group consisting of H Qatar, Slovenia, Canada, New Zealand and .
  
• Because we will not be able to learn these moniker of shit (?) That are there.
  
• Because, although they are more or less liberal, will be difficult to see shows with people doing anything wild in the street.
  
• Because the amount of people going to go there for the World Cup is going to play that Saudi Arabia will give away a piece of land.

Tips for visitors to Qatar World Cup 2022:

• If your girlfriend is fond of showing topless soccer events of magnitude in orbital (?), Tell him to refrain from doing so, lest it touch return home leaving a booster in the secret police station in Qatar.
• Alcohol is allowed only foreign hotels (= expensive hotels), and paying a special permit. So, if I were you, I take the 2018 in Russia to get high with a hangover last me until 2022 ...
  

"Ohhh, Refinery is a feeling / that can not die / you do me 'hold the equipment / HH the Emir / No somo' as the Saudis / not meeting the Prime (? ) / from Doha to Messaied / no or low us Allah

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Brevísssimas LMDF:'s Politburo asked ... Brief

LMDF

's Politburo asked: having dogs in Colombia, bears No glasses, monkeys, lizards, spiders, Gurr, armadillos, babies, butterflies, cats, foxes, strikeouts, capybaras, crabs, snails, jellyfish, bees, ants ass, normal ants, deer, alligators, caimans, anteaters, snakes, poisonous snakes, jackets, boas, bats, kink , vultures, sharks, catfish, tilapia, cachamas, ciempieses, scorpions, jaguars, ocelots, tapirs, hooligan, toads, turtles, ICOT, salamanders, frogs, iguanas, jays, bulls, squirrels, bison, spiders, and even the 2 or 3 condors still living in some forgotten mountain height, then ...

Why choose pet whores, for the 2011 World , parrot the same crap they chose the Venezuelans?

The pod of Ur and Ch * * be seen: on the outside are different but in the end were the same pod.

"Work, work and more work"

"Football and baseball together, against the ambitions immmmperialistas ..."

That's it. Thanks for the space. Greetings to my aunt in Mayami Adalgiza (?).

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LMDF: Finally, Cris! Lies and fabrications

Yesterday was the big day. For those of malignant dissatisfied, blind and cowardly to say that Cristiano Ronaldo never distinguished himself in a big game, and will have to call for silence and look for other arguments. Because CR7 left his mark forever on the classic yesterday (ie "derby" is frustrated Colombian journalist (?)) By this move, which will be remembered forever in history

¡¡¡¡¡¡ Biennnnnnn, papáaaaaa much varónnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!!!

PD 1: at this point who wants to continue discussing Messi should be fewer arguments that the attorney Dav * d M * G * Zman RCIA.

PD 2: Real Madrid, Florentino its policy to build a team at the point of hiring stars, the vulgar lampoon of M * RCA, General Franco and the English oligarchy (?): All At the moment, are feeling a sharp pain in her rectal tract.

PD 3: English These are too harsh (?):

PD 4: I would like to see Cristiano Ronaldo in the National (?) Pushing a classical Panzer : not finished out of hand when her face is distorted by a DT manotón the IMD, which will be very rough to handle, but very able to take advantage of them to slap a hot time in the face manotón alzaditos as it.

PD 5: to me give me a Xavi, Iniesta on my team and I won everything, even if Ibarbo forward to Victor Arboleda and Justin . No lies, no (?). But with the two above and below Serna Camel I make up a Jihad ...

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: recorderis short of some of world football metemonos

Lies and fiascos are all sides. Somewhere where I worked was a Brazilian to dictate a course for the use of software. We all liked the kind, cool and very very good football fan (fan of Atletico Mineiro), and for the third day of the course we had put together a Great Big Match in the Brazilian (not say his name, just mention that is called Dionysius (?)) not only was the special guest but was in the middle of a tug of war between the two teams to play with some of them. The day came, the court of the village where we worked was packed with fans, fanatics and Indian toothless (?), All hoping to see the Brazilian I was going to waste magic on the court. Finally the side in which Dionysus was to play was decided by a rigged lottery, the guy came to the court making little games and the truth that the pint of distilled samba type (?) And airs of crack: skinny longilinear, emaciated, long hair tied in ponytail, a smile of someone used to the flashes and excessive worship. The game started with the kick in midfield, Dionisio received the ball, stepped on and fell. Bue, an accident. At the sound rose and asked, they threw a pass and kicked him with a roll of wet cardboard. Aha. The minute he received the ball, dominated and got a pass to the contrary. Jmm. After 5 minutes I had eaten 2 goals. Mmmh. After 10 minutes we were all shit of laughter, especially those of the opposing team of Dionysus. He finished the game and came the beer, in which all nodded their diplomatic cordiality (?) Explanations of Dionysius that neither the court nor guayos helped him. A fiasco.

I was reminded of this now we make, in conjunction with the Staff of the Politburo LMDF, this post when we recall a number of lies in world football. Those players who are products of the invention of the press / swollen / Playstation. Because we agree that there are lies of various kinds, pious wave ("You have not increased weight, my love, is the mirror that distorts the image), or pure style story ("What I want to happen tonight is what you want to go" (?)). Just as in life, in the football. We know that is microscopically short list, but if there is complete open a new blog. Get a life (?).

Andoni Zubizarreta

fixed place in the English national team for nearly 15 years: it was easier for King Juan Carlos to abdicate the throne to unseat Zubizarreta. Something incomprehensible, considering that was one of those archers balls drew no goal, I put no fear of the rival parties had not inspired, but the combination of making a presence few droppings + + be one of the two big clubs + be big (?) generated for the fans and technicians English such confidence that you never knew if Urruti, Cañizares, Ochotorena or until the death of Paco Buyo had done the best in the world 4 and 3 European Championships where the afizión (?) exultant shouting " Damn, but that Zubi is a titan in goal, no goal or gets us Napoleon's army !!!!".

Luis Fernando "El Chonto "Herrera

A symbol of the Colombian defense in the first years of Maturana. As a side shot to fame thanks to the famous match at Wembley in 1988 (yes, the goal of Andrés Escobar great ) which is almost swallowed by himself to the tremendous John Barnes, who saw her that day or in repetition. But thanks to that party the Chonto lived long for fame, being a fixed the band of choice but when tea functioned as an axis of meaninglessness, running like crazy, living a thousand (?) party, sending centers the main counter or the goalkeeper, Banquo at Wilson Perez and located so that the team could put together comfortably against their attacking moves. I kill many with this revisionist history that we raised, but is a big lie Chonto.

Claudio Suarez

you ever reviewed by here: the fact is that a proper defense, well located and leader, which in any case not reached the third concentric circle callus of the right foot of a Paolo Maldini , can say he played in the shirt of your choice 178 sometimes gives to conclude that the best you can be in life is to be a footballer. Sure, playing against United States, Canada, San Vicente, Guatemala and Barbados 10 times each sum you a lot for the statistic.

Juan Pablo Sorin

When you're fast, correlón, intense, the kind that is pulled on board to throw the ball when it is off the pitch, you have a large marketing base to sell to the fans smoke. Now, if one is also hairy, crazy (?) And play-back, the people crowd around to buy the story. That happened to Juan Pablo Sorin, thanks to this way of doing so with the Red Bull was one of the favorite people, although not marked or the girlfriend. But that does not matter to people: Sorin was the player of the people (?), Substance, passion, strength and few practical results.

Juan Sebastian Veron

" Ex-tra-ordinariooo Veron " delights in every game Niembraaaa to witness the nth pass alongside Juan Sebastian. Because Veron, once a great player, now is content to be administered as 30% of fitness is left of time better, leading him to walk the course, change even when in front of his land and has no rivals and lateralization ad nauseum. To him who is not a fan of Students or Argentina invades the despair when he sees JSV mess with a pass to the partner effect is only, side, unmarked, and less than 3 feet away. What it does do a lot of energy is bitching 90 minutes and tickets to colleagues in public. But even so it reaches a " Ex-tra-ordinariooo " Veron to be convened to select Argentina, even in the last World Cup where his game was so useless that even the stubborn inconsistent Maradona sent him to the bench. If it is to walk the field and send the shit to my friends, that's what I call me ...

Cristiano Ronaldo

Ah, it slipped us ... proceed. Sorry for the unintended (cofcofcof) error.

Ivan Kaviedes

put his 43 goals in his first season with Emelec , an animal if we do not pause to think that put them in Ecuador (?). This feat catapulted him to fame that brought him to play on 13 teams of Spain, Italy, England, Portugal and Mexico , all with sad results that an abandoned house. A forward lean, skinny, slow, no header or power had to have something to justify his fame. Kaviedes no (?). But it was always summoned to the Ecuadorian, where at least had the honor of making the goal against Uruguay to qualify their country for the World Cup 2002 ...

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the Copa America is coming

Let me begin with a discussion, listen carefully: Today there is almost international football tournaments in which there has followed a course pointing partially or completely to hell. Because thanks to that $ a $ unguents that are present in all areas of daily life, the organization of any competition is governed more by the desires of the 543 multinationals involved in the sport for the fans. Fortunately, we still have the Copa America, the good old competition that has prevented permeated with ... ah, how well: Japan will play ? Damn (?). Back to square one:

The motherfuckers even today our dear old America's Cup is safe from harmful influences of commercialism : now (as in 1999) Japan will participate (!!!!!), country whose only link with South America it is football broadcasts on TV noventuda Tsubasa. CONMEBOL But it does not matter: all that matters to them is full of money, and the way end the little problem created by Santander, Paez, Flowers, O'Higgins and Artigas, were not able to form a number of countries that were divisible by 4. Note that if included in Suriname and Guyana be talking about 12 teams, but better leave aside the thorny issue (?). For now mention that today was held in Mar de Plata the group draw for the Copa America 2011, which certainly made it more remarkable was the scientific confirmation of the immortality that being the leader of the CONMEBOL: I have 30 years watching Julio Grondona, Nicolas Leoz and Eduardo Deluca old-looking about to die.

The other minor issues to highlight are as follows:

The tournament will be played in Argentina in July 2011.

Venues: As the tournament is in Argentina, it is normal that the locations are cities within that country. Normally goes well, eh?. Buenos Aires will host the final. In the central region of the country will Cordoba and Santa Fe , the latter also home to numerous floods, suffers more overflows the sides of the defense of the SID. In the region called Cuyo (about Chile ) we have to Mendoza and San Juan . And representing the northern region will have to Salta and Jujuy , the latter city in which the border between Argentina and Bolivia tends to become very diffuse, and that absent the proverbial beauty Argentina women's (?).

Competition System: The 12 teams (10 of CONMEBOL, more Japan and Mexico) will be divided into 3 groups of 4. From there classified the 2 best from each, plus 2 Third with best score. Gone are the days of two groups of 5 where the final round were only the first 2, now just be less bad than one of their own group to go round .. We would say that less bad than the Conmebol not been given round of the tournament to 16 teams invited to USA, Jamaica, China and South Korea , but best not to give ideas (?)

Groups : Let's see how were the groups, with the bonus of an exclusive analysis from our experts on the subject:

Group A: Argentina, Colombia, Japan and Bolivia.

was known-more-than-local known that he played the famous "Group Los Muertos." Now, when that group is Colombia, and it is that we are the host country, we make them realize that it is time to reflect on our true position in the football world map (?). A touch us relatively easy: Bolivia outside La Paz, a Japan outside the continent, a Argentina with Checho Batista. I'd say we easy, but it happens that the Bun.

Forecast: pass Argentina and Colombia. Japan the 3rd.

"SSM, such as Amaranth paste a lot, but come on, do not worry I speak with her father" (?)

Group B: Brazil, Paraguay, Ecuador and Venezuela

The poor Venezuela has always played the role of the canteen of the tournament: now (?) will play the local, now it's up Brazil. O Brazil local touches: worse. Sure, the dam has always been easy, secure 3 points, the team to thrashing for weighing goal differential. This time I hit a jodidísimo group, with a post- Dunga Brazil, seeking to recover the jogo bonito, the rocky Paraguay, with more talent than that suggests your system, and Ecuador that ... eh, well, it Ecuador, so the group is so fucked.

LMDF Forecast: Brazil and Paraguay first pass, Venezuela give the blow. A Reynaldo Rueda him out of the Ecuadorian, leave football and go to Palmyra to open a restaurant in the Pan. Ecuador's new coach Jorge Luis Pinto is , which begins its management prohibiting the use of music in the concentrations of the Ecuadorian.

Group C: Uruguay, Chile, Mexico and Peru.

the unknown group: Uruguay with Master Tabarez is rated insurance (which plays well is another story (?)). The other 3 came into the tournament looking to catch as their new coaches: young but capable elmuy Chepo La Torre in Mexico , Sergio Markarian in Peru and Chile aúnnosesabequién in . Because as we all know, the coach of the Red in the last World Cup, Marcelo Bielsa , said: "I will not continue in office if re-elected to Harold Mayne-Nicholls the front of the Chilean Football Federation" (* See Note below) . So quite possibly the Chilean bank is occupied by a DT like the new president of the Federation (the taste of = to let him do business without pounding her life), to position the Chilean soccer times Juvenal Olmos .

(* Note) Before further clarified that in fact what was said Bielsa: "I must note that in the current situation that is unfolding my position as the head of the coaching staff, which includes coordination of technical-tactical soccer selection of football players representing the Chilean Federation of the sport, among which is wrongly called Chilean soccer selection, or Red, referring to the predominant color in the shirt you normally use in their sports commitments that institution, I must desist from continuing at the time of contract that I linked to in the above figure, if the body to which I am as a direct employee choose a different rector president takes his place today " . But we shorten up to a better understanding (?????). all

LMDF Forecast: We took a gamble for a big surprise: direct pass Paraguay and Peru. Uruguay ranks as one of the two best third, with 2 points. Reach the final. The Peruvian football exhibit a high, but in the quarterfinals fall on us suddenly. Then he discovers that a great harvest stuck in your hotel orgiastic celebrating the classification to the second round, which moved to the Peruvian public, from Jaime Bayly to and Laura Bozzo Magaly. The latter organized a show confronting Paolo de La Haza, Juan Manuel Vargas and Claudio Pizarro against Chemo del Solar, which when you enter the set, shouting Laura ( "Come in this desgraciaooo" ) is bundled to death (?) with the above. Quite a spectacle.

This husband-faced old man crushed know enough to lift the Peruvian soccer. Eye with him.

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2011 Brief: football is not what it was (?)

When some exalted us on the street (?) To say something like "old Blablabla gaga, stop screwing around with this walk that football now is another thing, if now all papáaaa better and blablabla ", we actually meant that we are old GAGAS, they fucking walk a lot with that now that football is something else that actually everything is better now. I mean, one who is wise understands the indirect messages. So to see if it is true, we zapping on the news of the week and found that ...

1) Cristiano Ronaldo now rages (?)

invention seems taken from a blog of unemployed, unlike the latter, the galactic star, the Big Bang of Madrid, La Perla del Jet Set Madrid The Quasar of Madeira, the aspiring double act Twilight Vampire, King of the baubles by the band. Yes, "" No resssss: Cristianaaaa Ronaldaaaa (so-Mari * no Closs-off) wanted to give a joy to this world affected by the victory of the Republicans in the U.S., took a guayos with a leopard print .

According to the news (or press release, I know) the guayos "CR Mercurial Vapor SuperFly II (" Huh?) offer the innovative Adaptive traction Nike Sense, in which designers created a smart block that can extend and retract to 3mm, depending on ground conditions and the pressure exerted by the player. " Excellent, I buy now, those 3 mm of withdrawal are the that I needed to me to release this devilish dribble I could never bring forth. Follow

Ceerresietista ecstasy, this time from his own pen: "The guayos CR SuperFly Mercurial Vapor II speak for themselves in the field (???) while stamping Safari expresses my style, "said Cristiano Ronaldo .". Cris (?): Your style is rather well but bueh. statement follows: "In a new reference to the speed, the striking pattern of guava Safari overlaps with a design "chevron" tone that glows when exposed to certain light. Designed to look like a flash in the player's peripheral vision, this chart reflecting increases the visibility of the player on the pitch. ".

In reading this last sentence can not help but feel happy to know that" Cristiano Ronaldo CR debut with the Mercurial Vapor guayos SuperFly II in the field on 7 November, during the "Derby", which presents the best football teams in Madrid. " Assuming that the" the best teams in Madrid " is including Atlético (may be), we anxiously wait our great Amaranth advantage of the increased visibility of Mercurial Vapor Supernosequemierda easier to locate CR7, aim a little above the flash memory and will stop plugs embedded in the ankle. Masthead

• 1: If it was to be leopard prints, Christian did not need to Nike had gone to a clothing store in the market in Cartagena and I Bazurto was cheaper and even more leopardesco. Masthead
• 2: For when a manufacturer will bring the BA Creole Donkey SuperEagle II Vapor with donkey hoof Belmar Aguilar? Or the Louse PA Splash Pool I for Acuña louse? Batteries there with the invention.
  

"I am beautiful, wicked and cool, like Lucifer" (?)

2) Paul is not dead

soulless Germans they did not Not a week mourned the death of Paul, the octopus who managed the miracle of making Spain remain world champion (which Vicente del Bosque, or Iniesta, Xavi or , or what the hell: this octopus (?)), was the real architect and found him and successor, Paul II is now the role played by of cephalopod-oracle predictor Oberhausen Aquarium, traditional work being played 200 years and several generations of octopus venerable European generations.

With more than expected opening umbrellas, Aquarium spokesman and spokesman Quiromantischen-pulp Deustch Bund stated that " is still not decided if Paul II will (...) forecasts parties first need to see if you have the same prophetic qualities than its predecessor. " For that will have 2 years until Euro 2012 starts, to start pulling the octopus magic, or throwing shit, or both combined, is not known yet.

The only certainty is that the scene-palmist ictiológica mourns the loss octopod to be the highest number of hits in the history of the world. For now, a rumor is going strong in Oberhausen on the death of the original Paul is said that a man bald, glasses, and accent card Colombian journalist was being asked to octopus "What tactical and strategic system dominate the Colombian championship final, it is proudly sponsored by national and Postobón company which has the honor to be mentioned on TV for me: a) strong European influence individual marking prioritizing the meaning given defensive tackle from the ball in midfield, or b) the rigor of talent subject to an open scheme 3-2-1-2-2 rampant with two points coming together in the ridges of the offensive scheme? ", what caused the poor octopus ipso facto be diluted in a thick sea of \u200b\u200bink, made to empty the son of a bitch Man, that was not

ago ... If I see? Football is not what it was!

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Survey 2 x 1 LMDF: Gio is one (?)

Colombians For fans are following with satisfaction the good time of Giovanni Moreno in Racing, whose club that swings to the rhythm of Slow Motion almost Maturana (?) The talented Segovia, we make (s) following (s) survey (s). Ah, we expect to respond with objectivity and avoid talking with the shirt on. Particularly girls, to which we do not mind if you send us a photo without a shirt. Shabosha Mamashita!

bueh, going to the polls

Survey 1: Hand on heart: Which of the following statements best define the time is going Giovanni Moreno in Argentina?

a) is a confirmation that Giovanni is a crack, which will soon be ready to make the leap to success in Europe.

b) A confirmation Giovanni is a great player, which will soon be ready to make the jump to Europe.

c) is a confirmation that Giovanni Moreno is a good player, you have to give much more than it has taken so far. Most likely would yield even higher if you abandon the practice of jerk off before entering the court.
d) is a confirmation of how good a player he is Giovanni Moreno . But calm down, because if it Europe lujitos trying to pull each and every one of the attacking moves, they put the jamb with the corner flag to the height of the pylorus.
e) is a confirmation that in Argentina go so badly that any good player with a good sense for goal is to pass and be included in any team.
f) is a confirmation that in Argentina are all so bitter football-mad Riquelme (?).
g) To see if you play well in the selection, piece of dead.
h) Playing well up from the nap just do nothing in the selection, piece of dead.
i) Cofcofcof, bitch, do not see anything ...
j) The combination of the h go to any of the others (?)

Survey 2: to see if the same does not always ... Do you think that will happen sometime after the ebullient, ecstatic owner here?

a) Yes, Giovanni Moreno injured in next week.
b) If, injured Giovanni Moreno within two weeks.
c) If you are injured Giovanni Moreno in about a month.

d) Yes, the investor group Racing Club lost capital after a weekend of madness in Atlantic City, and Moreno must be returned to Colombia as reinforcement glittering Deportes Tolima.
e) Yes, Gio suddenly falls into a fit of depression that makes the game fail so loud, all because he needs the porridge with brown sugar from home (?).
f) Yes, stop Racing fans who saw him support from the street using a red cap.
g) Nah, and salt in the Colombian journalism does not work.
h) Nah, Gio nothing happens, is iron (???).