say negociazo become a soothsayer. It may be true: you go to the center of Medellin to make some turns and every 100 meters you find a guy who gives you a piece of paper, using a synchronous movement while giving you that you already have one on hand for the next pedestrian . Then read the slip "Problems at work? A love unrequited? Health Problems? Free Consultation, Professor John Wilder treats without compromise ". If I had real powers as a man of such develop a spell to make me filthy rich and opulent breakfast every day and pancakes with strawberry syrup and served on the breasts two Swedish waitresses instead of renting a basement pissed to meet people without hope, I say. But will that I have no vocation witch (?). Rather stop rambling and go at once to the expected, advertised, desired LMDF Forecasts for 2011 , which have already demonstrated such a high level of efficiency that we are not surprised that we are talking about in 200 years
DI M
The Mighty Antioquia starts the year with many concerns, the absence of reinforcements, the dismantling of the team, and especially those who haunt the living (?) of Panzer Carvajal. The fans are discouraged and looks rather little for this year, especially when it is announced reinforcements for the tournament: all ex-players in the red, most notably Jorge Horacio Serna in his 5th return to the club. Surprisingly, to achieve the flawless campaign in the Apertura tournament winning end to end with a record of 15 wins - 9 tie - 1 loss - 12 goals scored - 2 against, with Samuel Vanegas as a scorer with 5 goals. The Panzer imposed its stamp strategic-bilardístico-antiofensivo so faithfully to the team that the fans, which in itself was not characterized by massive cram the stadium box office (?), Finished the stage fright away. The Panzer shout themselves hoarse in the media, and trapping sweat spitting into the microphone, so fans of DIM were ungrateful, grateful that he does not - I quote - "... c on this herd of hijue piiiii are not able to lift the ball piiiiii champions took them out, these people if it is an ungrateful home, shh, shh (?) , how well home, starting PIII hijue " and immediately declared National swells. The Panzer is licensed, and the silver mounts a winding-food restaurant in the Medellin - Bogota.
Once Caldas
Completion The new champion of 2010 ratifies the controversial charge Juan Carlos Osorio, happened in a couple of months of being "as stubborn sonofabitch what " to "what man as strategic ." Surprisingly out of Dayro Moreno and Fernando Uribe, who is going to start a great season in Godoy Cruz in Argentina, to revive the evicted José Moreno repatriate and Milton Rodriguez with the argument that " interpret them better technical and tactical module I intend to Eleven. " The team plays a European, indeed, but not "European- " = " Barcelona " but "the European " = " Kilmarnock " (?). Laboriously go to second round of the Libertadores, where they are removed from Huanuco Lion penalties. Osorio declared after the directive did not give him the confidence or time to work. National hired him to replace his recently discharged DT.
National
The Sachi Escobar started with the batteries installed, and by a strong physical and tactical work accomplishes the miracle of having that amount of loose play shit and mercenaries as a football team (?). In the 15 date the club has already qualified to the next round playing very showy, but the team suffers pressure from the fans, who forgives him his past Sachi on the SID. After several awkward moments, of which you can count the arson at the house of Saci, he decides to give up and send to hell all: it is presented (and chosen) to replace Carlos Calero "Tough against the World ". The technical management team in the crucial clash knockout stages of the opening to the DIM , assumes Arlen Pavón, a known green blogger and journalist, highly respected by the payroll and managers. Unfortunately, the crucial game day (the trip had been 0-0) to Arlen Pavón the bike was stranded on the Avenida 80 and could not reach the stage (!!!!). Confused, the team lost 1-0 on goal by Jair Iglesias . Postobón decide the club put him hand-and time-ooootra steals Juan Carlos Osorio , leading the team to a creditable third in the Copa Colombia . Postobón tired of the club put him hand and removed from the team, which is purchased by Kola Román .
America
The terrifying Cali 2010 requires the club to think about what whores do to not go to the decline. The pattern Bermúdez meantime proselytize in his ESPN program to return to the team, with phrases like "You you can not treat a club of the greatness of America as a small team of neighborhood, what you have to do is to rebuild the club and put me as head of the administrative and sport. " Mass fans shudder. Despair rife when the computer is placed in direct descent to the 8th day. Patron continuing its campaign and it seems that it will support policy. The fans will want to kill every last. When it appears that Empower (?) Club by the Pattern is a fact consummated in a couple of days, Boca Juniors overtakes him in a daring maneuver and takes it as a sports manager in a 10-year golden parachute. The fans celebrated, but then realize they are in decline, and travelers are asking for a complete change in the club. Walks achieved as a result the mayor of Cali prohibited by congesting the city.
Millonarios
ambassador to the policy of the club want to stop seeing the decline as a future possibility and assemble a strategy that in 6 months to fully achieve its objective: the decline becomes a cold reality (?). While mounted an intense lobbying for changing the rule of descent on the average, using radio and TV advertisements, promotional brochures, joint-ventures with well-known evangelical churches in the capital and an intensive bombardment by Caracol TV. In October, Dimayor announced unexpectedly that reconsiders the decision of the decrease on average to return to traditional low-the-worst-of-year. The club and the fans cheering the news held a monumental concert in the Media Torta (?) That lasts 3 days and leaves 7 injured players of the institution. In the month and a half is missing, the team loses the advantage of 14 points that led to last year and down in a dramatic game against Itagüí on the last day. Commandos Azules announce that he will continue to Millito force in B, but while be passed (?) the subsidiary, the River Plate . But it happens to fall in 2012, so I do not know ...
Santa Fe
The fans are tired after so many years of frustration. The institution, seized the same sentiment, decided not to invest a weight on the payroll in 2011: total, if they are going to screw up, that is with the house. So the Santa Fe facing the tournament with pure stripping subsidiary. The boys achieve an unexpectedly sweeping campaign full of good football and goals, attracting new fans to the stadium. In the opening semifinal win 2-1 in Neiva. In the game get back in (for the first time this year) filled El Campin, full of fans that are filmed in the notices entering the stadium with chibchuzelas (?) and shouting " Shantafeshito Vamosh! " but pressure killed the boys, who lost 2-1 and then 4-1 on penalties. For the next tournament, pelaos learn from the professionals: they are going to party, missing workouts, not put the duckling and conspire against the coach. The club finished last and Juan Manuel Santos it intervenes.
Junior
The team is eliminated in the semifinals of the Apertura championship under the command Héctor Oscar DT Quintabani. A Quintabani the pitch and temporarily assume the Cayman Sánchez.
Colombians Abroad
- No doubt the revelation of 2011 will be the performance of Felipe Pardo , former striker SID in a surprise transfer goes to Juventus by deferred via DIM - Cañeros of Nezahuatlcoyotl - Neuchatel Xamax. The Italian club, the popular Pipe Pardo became the idol of the tifosi, being the top scorer with 38 goals (!!!!!) calcium, which leads him to be nationalized ipso facto by the Italian Federation. Pippa (?) Debut against Faeroe Islands in Torshavn macabre in a performance that included eating 3 goals under the arch. But it is claimed with 5 goals in games against Slovenia and Serbia. Pardo says exultant at the microphones of RAI: \u200b\u200b" Grazie Dio, che gave us things, is a actuazione molto questa important for the squadra, il reflecting laburo a week. Oh, the pirobi tutti, gonorrei, malparidi I whistled and carezzimba molto il forte in Athanasius, tutti molto have it in, Colombian di merda " (?). Giovanni Moreno
- confirms Closing on a good ride awesome Apertura 2010, leading him to be transferred to Manchester United . Sir Alex Ferguson watches him jogging at practice, thinking, chewing gum other, and decided to intensify the physical work: You have to learn to run. Giovanni paste the first bounce of his life (?), And 20 meters will start ligaments. During his convalescence he becomes addicted to the English malt beer.
- The 2011 look like Cristiano Ronaldo silences his critics with an impressive improvement in performance in games against Barcelona and the Final Real in the Champions League. Newspapers sports and celebrity magazines exploit orgasmically jubilant English until he discovers the farce James Rodriguez had been contracted to Real Madrid twice as likely as Cristiano Ronaldo . The scandal was all when he discovered the plot: Portuguese is limited to go to party in Ibiza, model clothes from Nike, and eventually play against Getafe, Almería Levante and I left the poor James task to fight it hard against real teams. Cristiano wept before the cameras and was forgiven (?). James Rodriguez was deported and sent as a punishment reinforcement for Emelec .
Other countries
- In Argentina be decided in early 2011 to become long tournament from July (the former opening 2011), crowning a champion only after June 2012. Gimnasia y Esgrima de La Plata is first in the first half 2011-2012 (????????). Martin Palermo extended his contract with Boca Juniors for 1 year after a half with 4 goals in the tournament.
- Barcelona continues with its overwhelming dominance in the English league, winning it without sweating with 12 points ahead of Real Madrid , which is 2nd with 38 points on the 3rd, Villarreal . Mourinho is cast and instead hire Donald Trump (?). Inter
- Calcium is crowned champion in an epic comeback and football rarely seen in the peninsula, under the command of Brazilian Leonardo . At 2 months he removed the title of bribery checked. Samuel Eto'o resignation of team against him alleging racist treatment, and two days later emigrated to German football. Venezuela
- In the championship was operated by President Chávez which crowned champion by decree a new team , Revolutionary Aragua.